This has been a season of letting go. Many of us have done the fall clean up, looking forward to the resting of winter and then to be energized by the beauty of spring poking forth. I am working through the cleanup phase of life, as we prepare for a move to downsize.
We have a large home with a huge garden, and it’s becoming a lot to maintain and we’ve decided we are ready to get out of town in the winter and go to the warmth of Florida when we can and do some traveling to see our kids. As we prepare for this next season, we are having to take care of a lot of things we’ve been carrying with us from our many moves in life.
I decided to put on some teachings from a favorite teacher while I worked and “Preparing your home for the Presence of God” was the subject of the sermon. It was perfect timing as I was considering what I needed to keep and what I needed to give away. I listened to his words on how we want to clean our homes out of anything that would keep His Presence from abiding in our home.
First of all, take a survey of all the spaces in your home that could be transformed into a room of worship. Maybe it’s an extra bedroom, all the way down to a closet under the stairs like Miss Clara in the movie War Room. Second, begin to pray and ask God if there’s anything in your home that would restrict His Presence.
The pastor went on to share how his own home had something he had to work through before his home was ready. The Lord woke him in the night and showed him some owls that had been created, symbolic of another religion, so he quickly removed them and threw them out and went back to bed. But then there was an image in his mind about the ashes of his mother-in-law on the mantle on the fireplace. He was so uneasy, as he knew how precious this was to his wife. He didn’t want to upset her so he waited two months to finally share it with her. When he did share, he helped her to see that holding on to a loved one’s ashes was actually holding on to death and that a spirit of death could be attached to the ashes. He lovingly shared with her what the Lord had showed him and together they made an emotional decision to take the ashes out of the house and provide a space for them in a loving way. The funny thing was she had already felt she was supposed to do something with them, but hadn’t known what to do and eventually just gave up and left them.
I pondered this and was glad I didn’t have to deal with something so emotional in my home, and at the same time asking God if there was anything I needed to deal with; and the image of a box of baby clothes from our little Lexie that I had held on to and stored with each move came to mind. We had moved at least 6 times in the last 20 years and I had given all of Lexie’s toys away after she went home to heaven; but kept one large box of things and immediately I knew there was some kind of attachment that brought me great sadness. There’s nothing wrong with sadness or keeping mementos from loved ones, unless there is some type of familiar spirit attached to it. Sometimes I refer to those feelings as “The Great Sadness”, like the father in The Shack.
I remembered conversations with the Lord about that box of things a month earlier and I had gotten the box down, looked at it, and decided I wanted to give it away to someone who possibly needed baby things and didn’t have the money to purchase them. I had taken things out and washed them tenderly and put them back in the box, and there it stayed in my garage. The Lord was now reminding me it was time. I don’t know if this is understandable, but I could feel the nearness of the Lord that day physically, almost as if He was letting me know He was going to help me do this hard thing. I got up and got ready to go to my workout. Got in the car and started it and I had the picture of the clothes again. I knew I needed to go and get it and take it with me in the car so I could take care of what the Lord and I were doing. I was not to wait any longer. I tried to argue that I wanted to wait for my husband (which is why they were still in the garage) or that I could go and talk to someone about it and come and do this afterward, but I knew I was stalling. I went and got the box and set it on the front seat so I wouldn’t forget. I’m pretty sure I held my breath the whole way to the gym.
However, I wasn’t prepared for how emotional this was. I pulled up to the gym and a friend greeted me at the door. I had told the Lord I was going to ask her to her to help me give them away. When she opened the door for me I tried to speak but instead I burst into tears! I was so confused. What in the world was happening? These baby things were 20 years old! I finally stumbled out what I was trying to ask of her, and she was so kind and loved me through it and assured me that she would take care of it. Then she realized she had driven her motorycyle! “I’ll come over to your house later and pick it up”.
I knew I couldn’t take it back home with me. This was too gut wrenching so I asked if I could just leave them at the gym with our friends and she could come back the next day and take care of them for me and of course she was so kind to do that. The Lord’s tangible Presence was with me all day that day and I like to think He was there telling me “This is going to be hard, but I’m here with you”. Again, like the Shack when the “Father God” walked him up the mountain and helped him bury his little girl.
There’s something about having someone you trust walk through these difficult times that can’t be explained. It was a peace that God is there with you walking you along too. And of course He is.
I had myself a good cry but I knew I was letting go of something that had been packed away in a closet of my heart and not letting anyone touch that area but of course now God. He knew it all along, and isn’t He just the best to wait until I was ready? His timing is perfect.
As I began to work out on the rowing machine I began shouting at the devil! I hate him! And I was going to let him know how much. I began to shout out what he had done to my children and how he had no authority over me or my kids and he needed to get out! I had a great workout that day! Of course thankfully no one else was in that section of the gym so they didn’t see the crazy lady over there rowing and shouting at the devil! But that felt so good!
I don’t know yet all of the benefit of letting go, as it just happened a few days ago; but I can tell you the peace I am feeling from obeying the Lord is glorious. I don’t want to keep anything from God. I mean, after all, we don’t really keep anything from God, we are just not dealing with our stuff.
Some of you might think “Well God didn’t tell me to do that and I’m hanging on to my things” and that is fine. I held on to mine for 20 years! But some of you may be ready and now is the time. You’ve already been reminded of what it is you are to let go of while you were reading this. Share it with someone. That helps so much, and of course the Holy Spirit is there as the best comforter you could ever ask for.
And don’t we want to experience what the Lord has for us as He has told us in Isaiah 61?
He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted
To proclaim liberty to the captives and
the opening of the prison to those who are bound; …
To comfort all who mourn
To console those who mourn in Zion
To give them beauty for ashes
The oil of joy for mourning
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness…
So let’s go get some oil of joy, a garment of praise, and some beauty for ashes! I have been sharing this with as many people as I can, in the hopes that many more can get free and begin to do as the song says:
“I’m trading my sorrow
I’m trading my shame
I’m laying it down for the joy of the Lord…
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord…
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His Joy comes with the morning!
It’s an old song by Darrell Evans and if you find it and put it on, you’ll find yourself dancing in your kitchen with your arms raised! Come on you beautiful mothers! Let’s get dancing again.